I am Creepy Clown NYC and I am speaking to you from beyond the grave.

I know that soon I will die for you which is why I am making this recording.

My message is simple and clear: Not only do I need you to find my killer but I need you to find the clown within you.

You see, you have a problem and I have the solution.

PROBLEM:
Tired of religions, sects and cults that make false promises
or insist you wait for fulfillment until the afterlife?

SOLUTION:
Isn't it time you checked out the Church of Creepy Clown NYC where, through obedient servitude to me and my issue wishes and complete disregard for others, you can get all the things you dream of?

You say you want power, fame, vacations, money, respect, sex, possessions, happiness, security and convenience? Then what are you waiting for? Ye shall get all these things by following the examples of my child slaves, my Disciples of Denial.

Kenny Kickbacks: Power through Kickbacks, Garry Graffiti: Fame through Graffiti, Harry Hydrant: Vacations through Hydrants, Lydia Lawsuit: Money through Lawsuit Abuse, Larry Litter, Respect through Littering, Lenny Loiter: Sex through Loitering, Nadia Narcotics: Possessions through Narcotics, Nellie Noise: Happiness through Noise Pollution, Umberto Unsafe: Security through being Unsafe, Vinnie Vandal: Convenience through Vandalism.

Can you resist the terrifying temptation to get all the things you need and want by becoming a follower of mine, a servant of the late Creepy Clown NYC and my Disciples of Denial? Get all the details on how it works either by going to www.CreepyClownNYC.com or watch FindTheClown.com.